“All the little ants are marching. Red and black antennae waving. They all do it the same. They all do it the same way.” I always found these Dave Matthews Band lyrics hilarious. I’ve been to a concert of his in my day — and enjoyed the music, not so much the atmosphere. Watching frat boys and sorority girls dance up on each other, smoke a little cannabis and drink Millers until the day’s over and everyone’s got a sunburn. They sing the song, all doing it the same way. Irony.
So I never joined a sorority. Greek life just never got me. My parents wanted me to rush, so I did informal freshman year for about a week—two events, something meager. For a while after graduation I thought perhaps I’d made the wrong decision because I didn’t have a national network of older individuals to help me land a job.
But recent events, involving my twin younger brothers, who attend the University of Illinois, have brought me back down to reality. See, I’m not saying this is every person involved in the Kappa, Gamma, Sigma, Pi, Beta, Theta bullshit, but a large portion of Fraternity Brothers and Sorority Sisters really are terrible people. They’re people that want to blend in, be cool and have that network to fall back on when they need it. The thing is though, that network is pathetic. It’s made up of people without a backbone, so even if you have 120 Pi Phi blah blah blahs, together in a room, it’s like a plethora of Jello, easy to break through and slurp right up.
Out of the six kids my parents raised, only two of us pledged: My oldest brother at Indiana University and my youngest brother at Champaign-Urbana; my other two older siblings played sports in college, so had no time, and my other younger brother had no desire to pledge, but ended up pledging the same frat as his twin because of the huge Greek group at U of I. He’s since dropped out, and the other one is still in. It was easy for me to neglect life as a sorority lady at Iowa, as only about 11 percent of students are in the system. But even as my siblings find their way through college, looking for friends, looking for a place to belong, I’m reminded that a network of people is important. While Greek life might not have been my choice, I do understand the appeal. But then again, it’s just an appeal. The backstabbing thoughtlessness and unending drama of the immature “he said, she said” fraternity/sorority movement continues well past graduation. You’re brothers or sisters for life, right? Except not, because in the end they’re not your brothers, you aren’t sisters, you’re just people, people that know each other. And I wouldn’t count on those people being with you at the end of the day, helping you get a job, being there when you need a friend, or anything.
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